Remember that commiepasta Bel-Air story I told you guys about? Found it:

Somewhere in West Vladivostok, you will find a frozen pond with a pair of ice skates lying in the middle. Put them on and begin skating. After a while, a small group of Capitalists will approach you and challenge you to a revolution, which you must begin.

After the revolution, you must go home and relay the events to Comrade Lenin. He will then inform you that you have an aunt and uncle living in one of the districts of Moscow, and out of loyalty to his Motherland, he will send you to live there for an indefinite period of time.

With no personal possessions because ownership is the capitalist's way, go to the station and await a train. The train that will pull up will bear the word FREEDOM on the side, and upon closer inspection, a bust of Stalin will hang in the window. Although you will suddenly realize that cabs like these are extremely decadent and capitalistic in nature, do not bear any thought to it. At this point you MUST salute the comrade in the front of the train and say ‘Yo comrade, to Moscow’. You will stop in front of a mansion, and there will be somewhere between 7 and 8 other families living there, even though it will be a privilege to share your home with fellow comrades. Get off of the train and say ‘Yo comrade, smell ya later!’, but do NOT turn back to face the conductor. Walk up to the door, salute your Motherland once, and then knock on the door three times.

If you follow these instructions, your imperialism will get flip-revolted upside down.

I have, like, twenty others. I'll post 'em if you guys want 'em. P: